There is something about our fear that is so magical. Yes, I said magical. Fear has the ability to completely transform us. It can make us act, say and be different versions of ourselves. Fear can drive us and it can keep us running towards goals we want or away from those things we care for. In education, we use fear as a drive. It can be a form of guilt to keep students moving along a path and to push harder when they move for the fear of failure. In our professional worlds, fear can drive us to take risks and push boundaries or stay too long in the safety zone. In relationships, fear can tell us that things we see are not really there. When harnessed or mastered, fear can be balanced between these extremes.
There are so many ways in which our society operates in the fear zone. The triggers in the news, on social media and even the casual tv shows we watch, are all tapping into something that lies within us. Sometimes consistently reinforcing a message we should or should not hear. Whats interesting is that there are some fears we have through experiences, some that are instilled in us through societal norms and others that surface from our connection to people.
Looking at what our fears are, is one thing we are taught very much to avoid and yet its the exact recipe called for to create balance and not have ourselves crippled or manipulated by our minds making.
Fear comes up for me in many ways. Fear of failure. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of acceptance. Fear of going unnoticed. Fear of financial instability. Wow. There they are. Hi guys! I’ve noticed you. As an entrepreneur, I have to work with a lot of risk and a lot of myself. I didn’t know that diving into a enterprise would be a deep dive into my own psyche and how I work but here it is. I have fears. I have fears that drive me to avoid potentially painful experiences and potential joyful ones. Currently, those fears are working overtime to dominate and steer the wheel. I have really been letting them play. I’ve been watching them dance in and out of my brain 24/7 as I try not to get bogged down by my inability to get them to tire. And this feeling of being out of control is distracting. It pulls me out of focus and it blurs the things I want with fear’s buddy, doubt. Like a wingman at a bar doubt comes in talking up fear and saying how good he looks. How I’ll never get something as good as him. Selling me on how perfect my life is and how great I’ve got it. How I’ll never be able to successfully reinvent myself and how i’ll only end isolating myself in the end. Why change?
Well doubt and fear, change is inevitable and I cant just leave this bar where we are drinking our cocktails to stop you from talking to me. I’m going to have to have the strength to hear you and still make my own decisions. I’m going to have to recognize where you are coming from and nurture the seeds that haven’t been healed for you. I’m going to have to distinguish my voice from who you are and I’m going to have to say buddy you might know me but I am change. Beautiful sweet change that will get through this all, and be that much better for it.
I am enough. I am doing something that is meaningful to the world. I am doing something that is hard. I am doing something with all my heart and intuition. I am doing this. I’m going to laugh, I’m going to cry. I’m going to get knocked down but then I’ll get up again. Ain’t anybody gonna keep me down. I’m apparently going to sing and get distracted. I’m going to bounce back. I’m going to love deeply, be misunderstood, be understood. I’m going to fail and I’m going to succeed. And most of all I’m going to be me. In every beautifully messed up instance, I’m going to be me. And honestly thats the right thing to do. The thing i’ve been longing to do for a while. Be me. Fears and all. Vulnerable and all. Unskillful, knowledgable, constantly learning, me.
